The Man in the Satin Pajamas

So, just incase you live in outer space and didn't know, Hugh Hefner is dead. He died of natural causes on September 27, at the age of 91. I would like to add that I did try not to be "the annoying SJW" about it, even sharing a meme about how no one would say he was in a better place. I'm cringing at myself now thinking about it in the context of our class, though.

So then why did I share it? Because I'm awful and it did make me laugh, I won't lie, but also probably because sometimes it gets tiring being "that person." I'm always the one being all, "so, hey guys, I read (insert book or article) and I think this is (insert critique or opinion)," while my friends and family smile politely and think, "will you please just shut up, why can't you just watch DWTS like a normal person?" That's how I feel, anyway. So I guess you could say that I shared it in interest of keeping things light, even if I'm no Hef fan.

At any rate, when it came time to write, I felt guilty about sharing it, given what the class is about and the fact that news of his death is everywhere in the media and most of the coverage is pretty favorable. Additionally, just as I began rooting around for what to write about, I came across this article, which I thought was a pretty good read. In it, the author recalls a lot of things that we probably should remember regarding Mr. Hefner and his legacy, such as some vulgar stuff about how he would sometimes treat women, as well as that his message was way more about freeing men from the grips of monogamous female lovers than it ever was female empowerment and the overall (read: beneficial for both sexes) sexual revolution. Indeed, while I haven't read Holly Madison's book detailing what went on "in the bedroom" at the Playboy mansion, a close friend who did relayed it to me. From what I was told, there was pretty much zero focus on female pleasure or entertainment. 

I think it is worth adding that I saw Holly Madison in person once, a couple of years ago. I lived outside of Los Angeles at the time, and my youngest child and I held season passes to Disneyland. We would go whenever she had a weekday off of school (and sometimes when she didn't). On the day we saw Ms. Madison, it was a slow weekday, and we were waiting at the end of an exit line to leave a ride - my daughter had left her Mickey ears in the pouch in front of her seat and we were waiting for them to be fetched. A small group walked past us, with a Disney employee, to enter the ride line through the exit. Another Disney guest, upon seeing the group, asked for a photo. Still standing there waiting after their picture was over, I asked the other guest who it was she had asked for a photo. "Holly Madison!" she said to me, wide eyed, as if it was insane I didn't already know.

Later on, when I told friends, I got some of the same reaction: how could you not see it? And the honest truth was, there was not a thing remarkable about her to me, famous or not. First of all, I didn't have cable and didn't watch anything she was in. I basically only knew who she was because of gossip magazines in checkout lines, and from  Perez Hilton. Additionally, I lived near LA, and I saw women who looked like her a lot. There were even moms at my kid's school who looked like her. Basically, I had seen so many others who had over-processed blonde hair, big sunglasses, and surgically enhanced bodies that there wasn't anything discernable about her. It did make me think: how much of an individual can you be when the major goal is to be the diamond of conformity? Sure, he never "made" any of these women conform, but he was an undeniably huge catalyst in the hyper-sexualizing of women, as well as the ever escalating physical standards they are supposed to aspire to in order to feel worthy.

So, as sad as it when someone passes away, when we read all of these things in the media about what good ol' Hef did for sexual liberation, civil rights, and the like, we should probably also remember that he most certainly never aimed to conform himself to anything, or do anything for women that didn't mainly benefit himself. That he may have been a stepping stone is some ways, when you look at him through a certain light, but in most others, he was the same old, same old, patriarchal figure. In short, RIP Hef, but despite the current media glorifications, let's try to remember that history is probably where he belongs.